Published on December 2nd, 2013 | by James Fell0
I live tweeted my run through a blinding snowstorm
I wasn’t going to run today, because it sucks out there, but since people seem to have some appreciation for watching train wrecks in action on Twitter, I figured I could jump on that bandwagon and hopefully not die in the process.
Here is how it broke down:
I actually didn’t notice that gusting to 70km/h (~45mph). I knew it was windy, but holy crap.
That’s my car. Her name is Rhonda. Rhonda the Honda.
The reason there isn’t much snow here is because the wind is so fierce it’s blowing it all away. In some parts the drifts were almost two feet deep.
But I’m used to that.
This is at the entrance to Nose Hill Park, the highest point in the city, which means it is also the windiest. I’ve befouled that bathroom many a time.
I am very much alone at this point. The ice has me freaked out. If I fell and broke something, I’d be in real trouble. I did have a mylar space blanket in my pocket at least.
35 minutes to run 5K.
This is when I realized just how windy it was, and it just kept getting worse and worse.
Really. I was running with my hand in front of my eyes.
That was actually supposed to read “DEAR GOD WHY?” Not sure what happened. Anyway, I farted and it was all okay.
I wasn’t thinking clearly when I did this one. I didn’t mean to make people think I’d tweeted a pile of poop. Looking at my replies on Twitter I freaked a few people out.
It was my ugly frozen face I was Tweeting about. Strangely enough, you can’t really see the snot. I assure you it was there.
Just a little dig at Elan. Autocorrect doesn’t care if you tell it to feast upon your genitalia.
Yeah, this was TMI.
It really is a disaster. He’s working on it now.
The last stretch down the hill the wind was howling so hard I was having a hard time staying in a straight line, and so I was rather fearful at this point. I had to make sure I stayed over to the side or risk being creamed by a car. I had my hand held in front of my eyes and was barely peering around the edge of my mitten.
I was thinking it would be funny if “You’re as cold as ice” got picked by the Shuffle feature, but that wouldn’t happen, because I hate Foreigner.
I assume that winter is also okay with being told to fellate me.
It thawed out okay, just FYI.
James S. Fell, CSCS, is the co-founder of www.SixPackAbs.com and owns www.BodyForWife.com. James is a nationally syndicated fitness columnist for the Chicago Tribune and Los Angeles Times. His book, Lose It Right: A Brutally Honest 3-Stage Program to Get Fit and Lose Weight Without Losing Your Mind is coming from Random House in early 2014.