Uncategorized Screen Shot 2013-12-02 at 3.50.01 PM

Published on December 2nd, 2013 | by James Fell


I live tweeted my run through a blinding snowstorm

I wasn’t going to run today, because it sucks out there, but since people seem to have some appreciation for watching train wrecks in action on Twitter, I figured I could jump on that bandwagon and hopefully not die in the process.

Here is how it broke down:

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I actually didn’t notice that gusting to 70km/h (~45mph). I knew it was windy, but holy crap.

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That’s my car. Her name is Rhonda. Rhonda the Honda.


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The reason there isn’t much snow here is because the wind is so fierce it’s blowing it all away. In some parts the drifts were almost two feet deep.


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But I’m used to that.


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This is at the entrance to Nose Hill Park, the highest point in the city, which means it is also the windiest. I’ve befouled that bathroom many a time.


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I am very much alone at this point. The ice has me freaked out. If I fell and broke something, I’d be in real trouble. I did have a mylar space blanket in my pocket at least.


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35 minutes to run 5K.


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This is when I realized just how windy it was, and it just kept getting worse and worse.


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Really. I was running with my hand in front of my eyes.


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That was actually supposed to read “DEAR GOD WHY?” Not sure what happened. Anyway, I farted and it was all okay.


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I wasn’t thinking clearly when I did this one. I didn’t mean to make people think I’d tweeted a pile of poop. Looking at my replies on Twitter

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I freaked a few people out.


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It was my ugly frozen face I was Tweeting about. Strangely enough, you can’t really see the snot. I assure you it was there.


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Just a little dig at Elan. Autocorrect doesn’t care if you tell it to feast upon your genitalia.


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Yeah, this was TMI.


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It really is a disaster. He’s working on it now.

The last stretch down the hill the wind was howling so hard I was having a hard time staying in a straight line, and so I was rather fearful at this point. I had to make sure I stayed over to the side or risk being creamed by a car. I had my hand held in front of my eyes and was barely peering around the edge of my mitten.


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I was thinking it would be funny if “You’re as cold as ice” got picked by the Shuffle feature, but that wouldn’t happen, because I hate Foreigner.

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I assume that winter is also okay with being told to fellate me.


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It thawed out okay, just FYI.


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James S. Fell, CSCS, is the co-founder of www.SixPackAbs.com and owns www.BodyForWife.com. James is a nationally syndicated fitness columnist for the Chicago Tribune and Los Angeles Times. His book, Lose It Right: A Brutally Honest 3-Stage Program to Get Fit and Lose Weight Without Losing Your Mind is coming from Random House in early 2014.

He is also the author of the ebook Mission: Motivation – A Realistic Guide to Getting and Staying Fit published by AskMen and available for Kindle, Kobo, Nook and iTunes.

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